Frank's Christmas Outfit

DECEMBER 12, 2004 BY SUSAN J

and other crimes against canines…

Every year we dress Frank up for the Christmas card photo. But this year James had the audacity to suggest that he’d like to be in the shot. In other news, James has also announced that he would like to be called Lord Crossharbour of Woodhaven from now on and has vowed to wear a cravat for the photo.

J. is currently reading a biography of Conrad Black and it has gone to his head. He demanded that I address him as Your Lordship but I informed him that will happen as soon as I have one one hundredth as many shoes as Lady Amiel and he has secured me a permanent gig on a magazine in his media empire that pays me lavishly to write screeching diatribes on issues that concern only me. He has refused this modest request and so I have not called him Your Lordship even once and wouldn’t allow him into the family Christmas card. But enough of these touching family anecdotes. We are starting to sound like characters in an early David Sedaris essay, minus the at-home surgeries and babies in the clothes dryer.

So here is Frank’s photo. I’m concerned that it’s too, well, not seasonal. I may try again. I was inspired by the television show Pimp My Car. Please note that I will attempt to avoid the word “bling” in the season’s greeting. Some things are too obvious, even for me.

If you don’t receive one of these, my apologies. I was probably busy bickering with Lord Crossharbour about whose turn it is to direct the pretend servants to do the all-too-real housework.

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