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I’ve just arrived in Calgary for Wordfest and am pleased to report that the hotel is very nice. It’s so nice that I’ve put my clothes away in the bureau provided in the hopes that they’ll soak up some class while they are in there.

Unlike Apprentice contestants, Alice is quite happy inside the box.

Sometimes people say, “Hey, Susan. Why did you marry James? I mean, besides his chiseled jaw, hair that falls just so, raw athleticism, stylish witticisms, massive brain, kindness to small animals and his uncanny ability to sooth inconsolable children?”

I am one of those people who resists technology out of pure pretentiousness. I didn’t get a cell phone for years because I didn’t want to be “one of those people who has a cell phone.”

I guess the thing that surprises me is that none of the contestants on Rock Star INXS have called to ask to borrow my moon boots for the finale.